A Life Unending
by Unnamed.in.whispers
Summary: In the aftermath of their shared passions, thanks to the Psi-2000 virus contracted on the SS. Tsiolkovsky, Tasha Yar must face how she feels for her android crewmate and friend.


**Title:** A Life Unending **Series:** Star Trek TNG

**Type:** Fanfiction **Pairing**: Tasha Yar/Data **Rating**: 12

**Summary:** In the aftermath of their shared passions, thanks to the Psi-2000 virus contracted on the SS. Tsiolkovsky, Tasha Yar must face how she feels for her android crewmate and friend.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Star Trek characters or anything from the universe of Star Trek. I am just taking the characters and playing with them a while – promising to restore them whole and unblemished! Thanks to Gene Roddenberry for creating these toys for me to enjoy. Please don't take any of my playing as having any bearing on the actual franchise. Enjoy.

()

_What I want now is gentleness... _

Breath and candlelight fill her hazy memory and Tasha shakes her head, spreading a palm against the cool surface of the tactical console to remind herself she is on duty and on the bridge of the flag ship; there is no room for daydreaming when you command a position of such importance.

_And joy... _

She knows she needs to clear her head, but the memories of that night are so crystal clear at times, she loses herself.

_And love…_

He was gentle. He was in awe. And he was so willing to please her that to think of what had passed between them in the privacy of her room, intoxicated as she was, makes her lightheaded.

Tasha steals a glance, raising her eyes to the navigators position at the front of the bridge to see him in conversation with Geordie, the blind man trying desperately to explain some basic joke to his artificial friend and getting more and more frustrated by the androids lack of comprehension.

Humour is a complicated concept… but love, it seems, was a wonder to him. One that was easily provoked and inspired in their time together.

_What I want now is gentleness. And joy... and love. From you, Data…_

Tasha looks at the man before her; his brow furrowed in concentration as he tries to grasp the simple aspects of human nature and remembers how easily she had seduced him.

Perhaps Data was more like a human than anyone cared to admit.

…_you are fully functional, aren't you? _

She closes her eyes and recalls the same confusion in his amber eyes as he replied;_  
Of course, but...  
How fully? _

And she leans on the console for support as she remembers his words;_  
In every way, of course. I am programmed in multiple techniques. _

She smiles and remembers her heart racing, stood before him; _A broad variety of pleasuring..._

"Lieutenant," a gruff voice knocks her out of the moment and she startles, looking straight out to Data who has stopped his conversation to turn to her.

Tasha looks about the bridge, thankful the Captain and First Officer are not present as she straightens up and turns to her Klingon colleague.

"Yes, Worf?"

"Are you alright?"

Squirming slightly, Tasha tries to ignore the feeling of blood rushing to her cheeks, "I'm fine, why?"

"You seemed…" Worf cocks his head in the direction of the android, "distracted."

Tasha can't help but follow his eye line, coming straight into the regard of the man in question; Data looks concerned, despite his normally placid façade.

"I'm fine Worf," she insists, folding her arms in front of her as a form of protection, "Did you want something?"

The officer straightens slightly to report, "Cargo Bay chief has signalled he is free for you to inspect the area before we arrange the transport of the Legonian delegates."

Still slightly flustered, Tasha snaps at the chance to leave the watching eyes of the bridge and mutters, "Finally…" before looking at her subordinate, "Very good, Worf. I will go now."

Thinking of quick escapes, Tasha spins on her heel and rushes to the turbolift.

She knows she has to stop dwelling on the past and move on.

She was the one who had told Data that that night had never happened. She was the one who had said to him they would never speak of it again. So why was she constantly thinking of it? Of his hands on her skin and their bodies locked together?

Tasha steadies herself. She has work to do and work always proved an adequate distraction to her issues.

Perhaps this mission to Ligon 2 was exactly what she needed to get men off her mind.

()

Insomnia isn't a new experience for the Enterprise's chief of security. Growing up on a failed, lawless colony, she had learned to sleep with one eye open. Up until the age of fifteen, Tasha had never known what it was to truly rest. She had always had to be ready to run or fight, so she couldn't afford to relax… not until she had escaped and joined the academy.

But this night she is restless.

In the morning she will fight, to the death, in order to win a vaccine that had the potential to save millions of lives, and yet, the pressure of fighting was not what she was focussed on.

She is thinking about Data.

Her empathic friend, Troi, had pointed out the thrill of having a man like Lutan desire her as a prospective mate. He was tall and broad, his deep voice commanded all about him and Tasha couldn't help but feel pride and attraction to a strong male, such as Lutan.

She had been raised on a colony where the strong survived and protected their possessions, which included their sexual partners. It was an attraction based on the need for strength in a world where chaos reigned.

Since those formative years, Tasha had had many partners in the bedroom. She considered it a natural part of life. Humans had desires and her ability to function in her role of security chief demanded peak efficiency. Clearing tension through a simple sexual congress was something she did regularly and was unashamed of.

But the time she spent with Data continued to play on her mind.

And the hurt that she seemed to see in his eyes when they were discussing the current situation on Ligon 2 stabbed at her.

_She won't budge_, Tasha recalled her words at the meeting.

They were speaking of Yarina, the wife of Lutan who had challenged Tasha to a fight to the death. The Captain had asked if there was any way Tasha could convince the other woman to drop her challenge and avoid the fight.

But there wasn't. _She loves him_, Tasha had continued, _without reservation._

And though she hated to admit it, she did respect that. She understood the woman for wanting to protect what was hers. It was a warriors reaction. That was something she could relate to. But it wasn't something she had ever felt.

_And she thinks I love him too, _she admitted.

The Captain and the councillor nodded their understanding, but Data cocked his head.

_Most interesting_, he had said, without a hint of jealousy or betrayal. _Do you?_

Of course Tasha didn't love Lutan; she didn't even truly know him. She was just attracted to him. An attraction that was fading the longer he held her and the vaccine captive.

But while Data's voice remained impassive, his eyes held something she couldn't describe.

Was he genuinely curious about attraction and love, or was he asking specifically about Tasha being in love with another man? Could he have been asking because he wanted to know how she felt about him?

And how did she feel about him?

A robot wasn't exactly the kind of archetypal male she had fantasised about when she was young. Since growing up away from the colony, she had learned there were many different types of men but she had not discovered what she wanted from them further than physical release.

Data was intriguing. She had, from their first meeting, found his curiosity and child-like innocence appealing. She wondered if she herself had ever been like that. It felt as though her existence had always been rough and violent. To have a being so soft and mild who was capable of snapping metal bars in half with one hand was almost too much of a juxtaposition.

He was soft and strong; he was gentle and firm.

Tasha lets a sigh of frustration curl out into the night, then pushes herself up, out of bed to stand in the cooling breeze of the balcony.

Tomorrow she fights for honour; what a concept!

Where was the honour in killing someone for land or riches? Even killing someone for wanting that which they have; the attention of your husband in this case.

Tasha isn't green. She knows there must more to the situation than Lutan is letting on. There has to be. But for the moment she is still focussed on her android friend.

He had never posed the question of honour. He had never mentioned any other convention or emotion other than love.

Why did he want to know who Tasha loved and what attracted her to men?

Running a hand over her face, Tasha realises that her feelings about the night she had shared with the lieutenant commander changed her perspective.

Love and sex didn't have to be rationalised or functional. They both could be sacred, shared and wonderful… with the right partner.

She tries not to let her thoughts linger on the light touches Data had pressed into her skin. How his curiosity had spilled over into exploring her and listening to the sounds she made while he caressed and loved her.

This was something she was certain a man like Lutan could not offer; wonder and gentleness.

Data may have gained new experience and insight from Tasha… but she had learned the same from him in return. Wasn't that the point of love?

She shakes her head.

_One thing at a time, Natasha,_ she thinks to herself, _Survive tomorrow and let the rest of it attend to itself._

And, with that, she returns to her bed.

()

It was true, that Tasha felt pity for Lutan.

The man's scheming and plotting had caused him to lose all he had, including her respect and attraction to him.

Still, when the triumphant Yarina had discarded him as a mate and turned to ask Tasha if she wanted him as a prize, she had felt a twinge within herself.

Humans didn't accept people as prizes… but the power of claiming someone as your own was something that lured her.

And it was only that power she wanted, she realised, nothing more and certainly nothing from him.

_It would be…_ she searched for the right words, _too complicated._

And she knows she is right. Tasha is still sorting through the mess in her head; what she wanted, who she wanted and why…

She couldn't offer Lutan sanctuary. And, in any case, the man deserved to be held accountable for his actions.

So she walks from the conference room with her head held high and finds Data waiting for her at the security console.

"I was concerned for you," he says, casting his eyes over her, "Are you alright?"

Static fills her chest at the thought of him making such an effort to seek her out, but a familiar defence wall builds up as she walks toward him; it's something she always done, so that people won't get too close.

"I'm fine," she says brusquely. "You can thank Starfleet training for that. Didn't even get a scratch."

And Tasha reaches for her controls to bring up the reports for the days she has missed thanks to her abduction on Ligon 2.

Part of her had hopes Data will take the hint and leave. The other part is happy he remains at her side, even closing the distance so his words can only be heard by her.

"Your physical abilities were not in question," Data admits, "but you had expressed confusion over your feelings in this matter."

Tasha can't help her head snap round to look him in the eye. Emotions were considered weakness where she was from, this was something she couldn't help but see as a failing and didn't appreciate it being discussed.

"If you are suggesting I am incapable of performing my job…"

Data frowns, "I do not believe that was my implication…" he says, eyes shifting slightly as if he is running over their words. "I was simply recalling what you had told me of your childhood."

Tasha closes her eyes. In her intoxicated state, she had revealed much of herself to the man beside her than she cared to admit. She had seduced him and spent hours recounting various stories which earned soothing gestures and caring touches. Despite their shared awkwardness and agreement to forget all that passed between them during the illness, Data cares for her; deep-down, she loves that. Deep-down, she knows it's not her weakness, but her strength that let her share her stories with this kind and gentle being.

"You mentioned your adolescence on the planet," Data explains, "I wished to inform you that, should you need me, I will make certain to set aside the time to discuss your issues."

Fear springs up in her chest. Could she really let someone that far in again? Could she trust someone enough?

"What can you offer me, Data?" She sighs, shaking her head and asking a broader question than she had first thought.

And then his hand find hers on the console and the android looks into her eyes, "I can learn what you need of me."

Tasha feels her heart; it cracks and thaws like a butterfly breaking free of encasing ice and melting it as the heat of the moment pools within her.

If they weren't on the bridge, she thinks she would have clutched him to her there and then, wanting to feel the touch of gentle lips as they devoured her like that night a hundred missions past...

But, instead, she smiles and thanks him, wriggling her hand out from beneath his.

If she thought things were complicated with her feelings before, they just got tangled up even more.

"Thanks Data," she smiles and looks to him, "I know you will do your best."

He nods, "For you." Then he glances down to the console.

To Tasha's surprise, she finds her own hand resting over his.

They both freeze.

"Data," she says, uncertainty audible through that one word…

But the android simply looks at her and Tasha finds she is smiling, "Why don't we meet after the duty shift?"

He nods before frowning, "May I ask…"

"What?"

"Would you consider our meeting two friends coming together after work for a social event or two people setting a romantic appointment?"

"It's a date, Data," she corrects, with a grin.

His eyebrows nearly shoot off his forehead and the look of innocence warms her as he says, "Oh… is it a date though, or were you correcting my query?"

Despite herself, Tasha laughs, "It's a date, Data," she says, giving his hand a squeeze for good measure.

The android smiles back before startling as Worf approaches and they both leap apart.

The Klingon is asking her tactical security questions about the incident on Ligon 2 but Tasha can't keep her eyes from wandering round the bulk of his form to see the man behind him.

_I've fallen for a robot,_ she thinks to herself, trying to stamp down further thoughts of his strength and gentleness. _He will never hurt me… but he will teach me about being human…_

()


End file.
